Criteria to join the Tea Party
1. You must be foul-mouthed while claiming “Christian values” in your Twitter, and other bios.
2. You also must identify as a “Conservative” while spewing hatred towards anyone not like you. Especially women.
3. OMG, misogyny is a huge plus! There are plenty of women who are married to misogynists. Turns out often they bought the gun that winds up pointed at them.
4. A true TPer devalues families and children. Actions to take for children seeking asylum? Gather together to scream obscenities while pointing high powered rifles at them. If it involves the parents of murdered children, and the TPer is in office, be like Gov. Christie and demonstrate your cowardice by refusing to meet with the parents of murdered kids. Then, just like Gov. Christie, spend a long time explaining why you refused to meet with the parents to reporters, (while carefully omitting the obvious one: As a puppet of the gun manufacturers who own you, they said: Don’t.)
5. You must have the ability to forget our founding fathers crafted the Constitution specifically to include a separation between Church and State. . .because our founders suffered from the very kind of religious persecution the so-called “Christians” now demand to inflict on people who aren’t Baptists, or whatever. Not recognizing this is also known as: intellectual cowardice. Or stupidity. Or both!
6. It’s also very helpful to be anonymous on line. (Although major league hypocritical and cowardly, hypocritical cowardly actions have never been a problem for the the vilest of Sunday-Only “Christians.”)
Also, it’s much easier to claim you are a “veteran” than BE one. (Just slap a picture of a tank in your bio header. Idiots everywhere will believe you.)
7. Always be mean to people with whom you disagree. Be sure to name call. Extra points if you name call immediately, such as in your first response. Especially to women and children. Finally,
8. If possible, include a juvenile cartoon so as to alert people to your education and maturity level. This is Especially important. Why?
Because Democrats secretly love this.
It makes it so much easier for them to scoop up the Independents. : )